The biggest challenge of loneliness is admitting it
One of the biggest challenges of experiencing loneliness is admitting it—both to oneself and others. Its symptoms and associated behaviours can be challenging to detect, and feelings of loneliness often make it harder to connect. This can keep someone stuck in a vicious emotional cycle.
Loneliness and mental health issues are prevalent among lawyers. That is why it is so vital that lawyers learn to check in with themselves and colleagues that may be showing signs of loneliness.
Sometimes it falls to others, such as friends, family and colleagues to recognise if someone is showing these tell-tale signs.
The pandemic has put a huge strain on our mental health, while the nature and stress of IP work already make lawyers susceptible to high rates of loneliness.
So, can you tell if you are lonely or if someone close to you is lonely? And what action can you take? Here are some common signs of loneliness to look out for:
Time spent alone
This is the most obvious one to check but it is the most important one. Be aware of how much time you spend alone. Tally up or ask yourself: how many hours per day are you alone? In law, it becomes commonplace to think you are not alone because you are busy with work, but time spent alone is defined against less time spent connecting authentically with others.
I often see lawyers eating their lunch at their desks. Historically and culturally, meal times are a primal time where people would connect. Still, modern working practices in law have erased this ritual.
Action: Accept an invitation to eat lunch with someone or invite another person to lunch. Small changes such as these can make a decisive change in how much loneliness we feel.
Declining productivity
Feeling the emotions of loneliness affects our ability to efficiently complete tasks, work productively in teams and build relationships. Loneliness can also sap motivation, affecting how engaged you are in your work. For example, lawyers who see declining productivity put further pressure on themselves and have to work even harder to meet their targets.
Declining productivity due to loneliness places additional stress on our mental health. It reinforces our loneliness as we sacrifice what “connection” time we could be having and replace it with more isolated work.
Action: Check in regularly with yourself or a colleague with informal chats and ask how workload is being managed and their work-life balance.
Stuck in one mindset
As the rates of loneliness and time spent working alone increase at the expense of connecting, lawyers can become stuck in a mindset and thinking patterns that reinforce the negative emotions associated with loneliness.
The mindset that makes a fantastic IP lawyer includes detail orientation and logical thinking. But this thinking style can keep our minds stuck in thought patterns that are not optimal for building connections and emotional bonds with others.
Action: Schedule time to deliberately shift your mindset into either a more relaxed or playful state. Meditation and mindfulness are effective for relaxation. Sports, board games and creative drawing are also great ways to build connection and shift your mind into a playful state.
Conclusion
The simple solution to loneliness is forging connections and emotional bonds. Still, in our modern world, the act of simple connection can be difficult. The three most common signs of loneliness and action steps to overcome them are a great place to start for any lawyers who are concerned with loneliness themselves or noticing it in their colleagues.
Charlène Gisèle is an executive coach specialising In burnout prevention and sustainable high-performance. She can be contacted at: coach@charlenegisele.com
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